When I was 18, in my living room, I played for the first time a DVD that I just had buy. The first vid in front of me was the (E)motion picture of the most important song of my life, I didn't know it yet, but I got totally impressed, AMAZED!
It was the beautiful and magnificent conceptual video of a magnificent MASTERPIECE, Emotion Sickness 🖤 You don't know, nor maybe can imagine how much this song means for me, yet I didn't imagine by myself at thar time. But now, after all these years, I naively wish Dan knew, although nothing relevant would happen by him knowing it through the ocean of people touched by his music as well, but I long for that anyway, don't bully me, please! XD
To the point again. No song in this world touched me like that one, even when there's a lot of songs that touched me so very deep, but this, THIS ONE was different.
There was a time I couldn't even hear the first chords without breaking down inside; it was SO overwhelming, emotionally disruptive (just like that mind-blowing piano emerging from that dense sea of strings) and soul touching for me at the same time; everything inside of me used to hurt so much while my head used to feel as a chaos I didn't even understand. I felt like my head and heart were about to explode, since that first time and the next and next, always the same... There was a time which lasted for years, decades in fact! So I had to stop listening to it, it used to break me that much...
After all these years...
There was a time, but now, ironically when I'm feeling worst (because of, you know, life) it's a totally different feeling; now I embrace the song!!! I wish I could melt with those sounds... now it's some kind of a refuge for me...
Decades after, is not that it doesn't hurt anymore, it's like I just embraced the song cause it was THE ONE that really dug inside of me to a point that I didn't even know about myself, it really looked inside of me and showed me before some things that were there, kind of asleep and I was afraid or terrified to see, maybe, just theorizing. Now I look some things in the eyes and as I said, I embarace the song, and delight myself in every little BIG sound of it, both in the studio and in the incredible, special, different and amazing versions they create live.
I just can't get enough of it, I just can't believe that something so damn perfectly amazing for me, in every little sense, really exist; I just can't and never could totally describe that emotion, the feeling... is almost something unbelievable for me; I mean, something that captured and deployed the essence of many MANY things and emotions so MASTERFULLY! (just close your eyes and listen and feel it in every sound). And not only that magnificent song but its magnificent conceptual video too!!!
Yeah, that's for me a magnificent piece of art combining everything so damn perfect not only by transmitting the emotion but perfect in a matter of techniques and skills as well: I mean, vocally, so many different vocal technique there in its perfect amount in the perfect moment -full voice, raspy voice, head voice, falsetto and on live versions, beyond that, head voice, powerful belting and even some whistle tones (yes, a C#6) without whistling, I mean, incredibly, just with Dan's powerful head voice-; dynamics like soft or powerful or powerful screaming voice in its perfect measure where is needed; rock and classical instrumentation melted so well; ups and downs in music and vocal lines -piano, mezzo piano and fortissimo exchanging, intercalating; all through the whole song (just like an emotional journey, indeed)-; those incredible poetic and conceptual lyrics and there's even more; something that wasn't even needed, that magnificent conceptual video I talked you about. All in one, melted in total consonance, dancing around and developing a perfect dance in front of you to make musical and visual poetry!!!
Oh gosh! all around it is pure art, full of that emotional and undescribable halo that feels like transmitted through some extra sense besides those we know as human kind... (sorry for my "intensity", that intense feels the song for me...)
I got to feel and understand the song and video as one, as a total, comprehensive and complete piece of art (something like Pink Floyd's The Wall), one that could easily be considered a piece of cult, and it is in fact for me!!!
And I adore its live versions as well, everyone of them are so special, you just have to listen, close your eyes and start floating... I enjoy them as well as hell! Since I could, I watched their live versions and saw how they used to jam and improvise every time on it, only with this song... and I thought that could mean something too. Watching and listening those vocal and guitar arrangements and all around their special and intimate performances of the song totally captivated me as well, every time.
That song is the reason why I treasure Neon Ballroom SO much! I feel like the album was a sacred chest for the song, and the song, the jewel! This song rises Neon Ballroom to another level for me!
Orchestral tear cash flow...
Let's try this, after watching the whole video, just dive into the music, studio or live versions... as you prefer. I'll never tried to describe what I feel with this song, but now I'll try.
Let's go and get immersed into the music with me, close your eyes and start floating and feeling...
Feel every sound, feel the tide, its atmosphere, a good way shocking vibe at first to suddenly rest in some guitar arpeggios and a soft, sober and intimate voice, just to rise and going down again.
Then, the strings create a tense atmosphere in which all music seems to rely on, and you suddenly feel like little unexpected sprinkles of a unique and almost demential piano: it feels for me, in a way, like those tiny "bright"/shadows dancing deep in your mind, yes, shadows because they can be so dark, but bright because they seemed to have the power of taking the whole picture (if you don't manage them), they could blind you by taking itself all the focus and get ourselves drowned (remember the video). And its kind of incandescence is not just blinding, it burns the skin inside as it rises from that sea of strings, just like that shadows, that kinda shadow entities could shown themselves so terrifying. Those are just tiny sprinkles of a piano sound, but as tiny as they seemed, they are SO powerful in the song as that emotions and thoughts could be in fact in our heads! That sort of demons emerge as that dissonant magnificent and demential piano does, yes, they emerge from that dense/deep sea of sounds (fears and pains), the strings. And then let the music just lead you as it develops itself, feel the tide, some big waves appears at times...
Suddenly, the tension increases, the density of the strings, all instrumentation, the vocal line and lyrics do as well, everything rises to the top... and then, the music leads you to another place while chaos decreases. The storm seems to have gone but left some sorrow, some devastation behind, I can feel it in those clean guitar arpeggios. Somehow, it stop raining inside... and yeah, it probably hurt when the rain is gone**, but it's maybe a bitter deliverance... yes, deliverance at the end.
At first chaos and obscurity seemed to slowly increasing and taking everything, but when we recognize and domain the shadows, when we recognize our vulnerabilities next to our strengths, as human beings as we are (I'll go into more detail about this topic in a next post*), when rule over our own demons... then maybe we can understand and not fight ourselves; maybe that chaotic, lonely, dark journey would turn itself into some "lessons learnt", and into a little less chaotic and overwhelming place.
Feel and hear every chord, every little sound, every word on it, with that "extra" sense: It's simply outstanding, unbelievable how deep it dig into your brain and into your soul... That's what I feel!, or at least, what I can explain; with our limited and finite words and language (yet a beautiful sublime human creation, by the way), and with my own english limitations. That's the more I can explain... The closest approximation to what I feel.
Welcome to the closing...
I'll never understand how this magnificent piece of art didn't have the recognition it deserved. It's all an experience!!! If you immerse yourself into the lyrics, the music, every part of the instrumentation and understand everything in consonance, add to that powerful journey and whole understanding in consonance, at this time, with the video and the concepts it's transmitting.... as you saw, it just blow my mind and more than that! You may have now an idea, a slightly touch on what this song feels for me.
It would be amazing for me to see Daniel and Mr. Helfgott, the two masterminds behind this magnificent gem, talking about their creative process and how their brought to life such marvelous piece of art, and how Daniel made it happen all over again with his pinnacle album (in my opinion), Diorama, another complete and fabulous piece of art, (even though I think Emotion Sickness is his pinnacle song). There will be a lot of his creative process through his solo career, I don't know, I'm just full of divagations, all I know is that I hope I'll be able to watch someday, here in my country, that Scott Hicks film, "The Musical Mind", I really hope I can... For those who don't know what I'm talking about, here's a trailer about that docufilm.
I'm sure it was an amazing experience for the lucky ones to have the possibility of being just a little closer to their very VERY talented, sensitive and magical musical minds. If you're interested too, you can watch meanwhile another film, a biographic movie directed by Hicks too, this one's about the troubled and outstanding artistic life of Master David Helfgott, it's called simply "Shine".
I love SO much this song! I treasured it for more than 20 years
and is the most important and my fav song of all times! 🖤
through all genres!
It's an authentic opus magnum! A MASTERPIECE,
and a cult piece of art for me!!!
***
So here it is, I left you with the heart touching video and the song, studio and then, four of the live versions that I love the most... choose your fav.
Enjoy, close your eyes and start floating with the sound...
Emotion Sickness (official video)
* PS. I will make later another entry about my understanding on the concepts shown on the video and its consonance with the song, its instrumentation, vocal lines and lyrics... and possibly with my own personal troubled mind/soul.
** But for the ground and so it is for the soul; water and fire are needed: fire to forge the sword, cause the more and BETTER tempered it is, it's not more stiff, but the more strong and flexible and more noble it turns to be...
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